I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. There are going to be guys or girls that you will just find impossible to get over. You're going to go through a breakup and wonder when it gets better. Your friends will try to help you get over it by taking you out, by not thinking about him, by jumping back into the game.
Maybe this is going to work for some relationships. But then there's going to be at least one that is a constant on your mind. You're going to hear a song and immediately be brought to that hollow feeling. You're going to have something happen and want nothing more than to share it with them. You're going to want to text them.
I'll tell you now, that yes it does get better. No, you won't cry anymore or be anchored to your bed. But you will see them in every person you try to date. You will hear their voice when you are alone, and you will think about all the what-ifs that could've been if you never split.
As much as I tell you what to do, everyone's going to be a little different simply because everyone's hearts break differently. First, let's start with the no-no's. Don't ignore sad music. Don't jump right into partying every night. Don't skip the grieving. And don't talk poorly of them. They were special to you for a reason. Hold yourself to the fact that you liked them because you have good taste when choosing a partner.
Do spend more much time with your friends. Especially the ones that make you laugh endlessly. Immerse yourself in smiles, inspiration and art. The more room you make for joy, the less room you will have for depression. Have a weekly schedule: something you do every week to make you feel more yourself- whether it be a Monday manicure or Sunday church service. Stay true to the things that keep you whole. The biggest helper for me is writing. Whether you're normally a writer or not, chances are you're going through emotions that you don't know what to do with. So write them down. It's also healthy to go back to them a couple months later if you're feeling pitiful, to see how far you've come. You can express those feelings through poetry, nonfiction stories or just drawings/word collages. There are no rules on this one! Whatever your feeling, turn it into something beautiful.
Just remember that you are not the only person that has to go through this, and there is a light at the end regardless of how endless it feels. If it's been over a year and you still feel shitty about what happened, that's perfectly fine too. It means that you put your all into something, and if you were able to do it once you'll be able to do it again. And don't don't don't bottle up those feelings. Embrace them and feel the hurt. You're human. It's fine; it's fair; just breathe.
